tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984416760056670438.post2803564317257418236..comments2023-07-03T08:30:39.679-07:00Comments on Gbenga Alake: Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4984416760056670438.post-46173000137928393402010-02-16T11:54:30.087-08:002010-02-16T11:54:30.087-08:00Interim Online Review 16/02/2010
Hey Ben(ga),
I...Interim Online Review 16/02/2010<br /><br />Hey Ben(ga),<br /><br />I'm going to be really honest and say that I remain unconvinced by the resolution of your story; a pirate ship 'crashes' into some mountains, pirate gets on cable car... and your third act is very weak (though I did smile at the idea of the pirate walking off his own plank). I still think your biggest problem is your preoccupation with the stereotypical view of the pirate as being a sea-faring character; it's just skewing all other possibilities; after all, in Act 1, you get rid of the pirate ship almost at once; your pirate character could be any kind of character really; if he's going to steal the passenger's riches, why not make him a modern 'pirate' instead? I think your stuck in a very conventional rut, and I urge you to climb out and look afresh at the possibilities for your story...<br /><br />did you check out any of these suggestions after we spoke?<br /><br />From Where Eagles Dare...<br /><br />http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPXNKx1lDkA<br /><br />and from Moonraker<br /><br />http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcHVXwC0roY<br /><br />I just don't think you're 'using' the cable-care in any real way...<br /><br />Also, I notice that you've chosen the Blair Witch Project to re-storyboard... isn't this a rather odd decision, Ben? As the entire point of that film was that it was made without storyboards - that it was created out of part-IMPROVISED footage in the editing room afterwards. I wasn't asking you to simply 're-draw' a sequence, I was asking you to understand how editors/directors construct scenes in pre-production! The Blair Witch wasn't pre-produced in this way...<br /><br />The Blair Witch makes a good subject for your written assignment, but in order to talk about it in any meaningful sense, you need to understand 'cinema verite'; you should also be discussing films like Cloverfield, The Fourth Kind and Paranormal Activity to demonstrate how the 'mockumentary' genre has developed because of the success of the Blair Witch.<br /><br />Please see the following 2 comments for more general guidance re, the written assignment - but particularly, Ben, I want you to concentrate on the advice about developing a more formal and disciplined style; your essays tend to be a bit waffly - lots of words, but not so much content. Please take some time to look at the suggestions and take them on board and into your written work.tutorphilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11842833126210822641noreply@blogger.com